Inner conflict and Insecurity Insecurity is the root of conflict. Inner conflict and conflict between two or more persons. There are many feelings associated with insecurity. Some of the most common: are a sense of threat, fear, worry, anxiety, offense, frustration, and anger. All these words or phrases lead toward one very strong feeling: a sense of losing control.  Ironic. We fear losing something we never had. I don’t need any scientific research to convince me that insecurity takes years off of my life. Insecurity and all of her cousins are both a cause and an effect. They cause me to act out in unbecoming ways. Behaviors that produce more problems. And MORE is the effect. But what causes insecurity?  Bad theology, Bad psychology, Bad thinking.  Rick Warren’s best-selling book, The Purpose Driven Life, starts out with four words: It’s not about you. Those four words might feel like a

My father gifted me with a large bible. We placed it in a display box and opened it to Psalm One. It sits proudly on a shelf in my office. Psalm One is a classic biblical passage describing two completely different paths of life. It is a poetic narrative that contrasts between the man who chooses the path of God’s instructions versus the path of wicked men. I memorized it as a child and meditate on it even to this day. It’s not simply a “Thou Shalt Not” text. It is a life-giving narrative. Consider some of its phrases describing the one who stays on the right path: Happy or blessed is the man… His delight is in the Lord’s instruction… He meditates on it day and night… He is like a tree planted by streams of water… Bears its fruit in season Whose leaf does not whither Whatever he

I was reading the book of Proverbs this morning, as I often do. Typically, I read the chapter that corresponds with the day of the month. For instance, if today is the 15th, I read Proverbs 15. However, since it was February 12, I read the 12th chapter. The following phrases jumped out at me: Whoever ignores an insult is sensible… There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing. These two phrases reminded me of a recent interview I had with Blake Coffee on The Today Counts Show. At one point we were talking about meaningful conversations. Significant words that build relationships and community. As I recall, they were these: Sharing words of affirmation. These are positive words based on the present and the past. Sharing words of exhortation. These are stronger words of inspiration focussed on what’s next, the

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction – Proverbs 1:7 What we believe matters. It shapes how we think and how we behave. It determines our focus – what’s important to us. What we believe is our treasure.  At Work It’s our secret weapon at work. If you believe in your organization, the leadership, the direction, and the strategy, you will perform at your best. If you doubt one or more of these components, your performance will not be your best. At Home What you believe about the purpose of family determines the priority you place upon it. Many don’t realize the treasure of family until they lose it. They never really embraced the whole package – the good, bad, and ugly. Belief is stronger than circumstances and feelings. Believing is becoming. When you believe faithfulness in marriage, to the end, is

A wise person thirsts for knowledge, while the fool feeds on trash – A Christian Proverb If you are a leader, you feed others with vision, values, and influence. You are the well where people gather to quench their thirst – to get affirmation and exhortation. To be encouraged and to receive direction. To be empowered. You cannot do this effectively if you are dry. You have no fresh water, no new insights, no sustaining passion. Your energy is decreasing. You are becoming impatient. You unknowingly are reaching for some kind of convenient fix. Something to make you feel better. Shortcuts. You’re faking it or you’ve been reduced to just trying to get by. Your words have no power and your thoughts are scattered. When your well is wet and filling up you have plenty to share. In fact, it just flows out of you. When you’re full of good

I sent the following note to my family: What do I want to do with the rest of my life? I believe life is a gift from God and what I do with it is my gift back to him. I believe I will literally be able to hand my life back to him someday. I want to continue to grow my faith, practice, and contributions  I want to enjoy and invest in my marriage. I want to enjoy and invest in my kids (Jim & Amanda, Mandy & Greg). I want to enjoy and invest in my grandkids – each one, as individuals and as a group. I want to take care of myself: body & soul. This includes identifying bad habits and mastering them (my intake of food and drink, my thoughts, my words, and my actions). I want to live in a positive yet counter-cultural way, always

Intelligent people are always ready to learn. Their ears are open for knowledge. Proverbs 18.15 Good perspective is good theology. It’s your life philosophy. Do you have one? Yes, I know you do. One day I realized something. I consciously recognized that I did not choose to be born. I did not choose life. Nor did I have the power to do so. I had no consciousness. I did not exist, except in the mind of God. If that’s true, then life is a gift. No matter how long or short. Whether good or bad, it’s a gift. What makes it a gift? Your soul makes it a gift. Think of your soul as a spiritual and eternal location, an address where God can find you.  Once our body finally says, “I’m done, that’s all I got,” our soul returns to the one who thought us into existence – no

I just finished a podcast interview with Gary Harpst, the author of Built to Beat Chaos.  “I’ve never had a job in my life”. This was one of the first things he said to me before I began recording. Did he mean it literally or figuratively? Discovering Your Purpose During our discussion, he brought up the idea of purpose. He said that leaders have two primary responsibilities. To define the purpose of their organization and to build a culture that best supports both the people and the purpose. I like that. Simple does not mean easy but it really helps create clarity and focus. He also said something only an engineer’s mind would think. He said that because we are made in the image of God, we can learn about our purpose by learning about God through not only the Bible and participating in a church but also by taking

I am happy to say last year was a good year for me, and I hope the same for you. It was not a perfect year—because life just doesn’t work that way—but I did accomplish my one goal. My one BIG goal. It was not easy. In fact, it was much more difficult than I imagined. But isn’t that true with most worthy goals? Capturing a Resilient Perspective: Three Focus Circles Like you, I am not a perfect human being, but I have learned to practice a resilient perspective. That kind of perspective embraces thoughtfulness, self-awareness, self-leadership, gratefulness, and focus. What I’m about to share works for me, and it has proven helpful to many of my clients. Imagine a dart board—a target. There are three overlapping rings or circles. The one in the middle, we often call the bull’s eye. Picture that center circle on your target, but larger

If you’ve never experienced frustration by falling short of your goals, you don’t need to read this. If you’ve never experienced disappointment with your team’s performance, you don’t need to read this. For the rest of us, consider what has worked for me, maybe it will work for you. Stubborn Strategy I liken a stubborn strategy to a tug-o-war. If the participants really want to win, you’ll see them encourage one another. You’ll hear one or two give short motivational speeches. They will organize themselves from the front to the back and everyone in between. If even the smallest or weakest person quits, it can spell disaster. Each team member digs their feet in trying to create a secure foothold. This feat may cost them a rope burn, a skinned-up knee, or a muscle cramp. But they will not give an inch until finally, they pull the opposing team across

You’re facing a new year and you’re not happy about the last one. What can you do differently? Well, let’s start with something Clint Pies said on my podcast, the Today Counts Show, episode 90: Dealing with Difficult People. “What you ignore becomes more and what you address becomes less.” The most difficult person to lead is you. If you learn to lead yourself in a healthy and positive way, many (not all) will follow. When that happens, teams win, and winning feels great. What do we ignore? We ignore what’s hard. We ignore the truth when it is not pleasant. And we ignore the things that make us feel bad. We ignore things we don’t like to do. We ignore things we don’t want to hear. Lastly, we ignore what we don’t do well.  If we ignore, we take the path of least resistance, others who follow in our

The journey of personal growth and leadership through the decades I left off last week with the big idea that perhaps the most difficult person to lead is yourself. It seems every season of life requires the right mindset and a new toolbox. When you’re young, single, and overflowing with energy, it’s about laying a foundation. It’s about learning. In Your Thirties When you’re in your thirties, your strengths are becoming more noticeable. Your blind spots too. If you’re driven, you get promoted and receive more responsibility. That’s when you realize things are not as easy as you thought them to be. You were probably promoted because you demonstrated some of your innate skills, they came naturally. Gifts from God. But they only take you so far because God designed life as a partnership. Now it’s time to grow up. To humble yourself. You’re not as smart as you thought

As a young man, I knew nothing about leadership. Even though I found myself in leadership roles since childhood (chosen to give speeches, captain of teams, etc.), I didn’t know anything about it. If I happened to lead, it was by accident. Maybe it was intuitive or maybe I was modeling what effort looks like. I’ve always been competitive and strategic; therefore, winning simply felt right. Whatever it was, leading was certainly not conscious, informed, or intentional. I did not know that leadership starts with consciously evaluating and leading me. I didn’t know it was about serving others. And I did not realize how complex I was – how complex people are. I did not realize that I WOULD BE THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON to lead. I did not realize that we all have an inner person. Dare I say, inner persons? In some ways, I was mature beyond my

Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters. – The Apostle Paul If you read and if you listen closely to the voices around you, truth and goodness cut through all the noise. You can hear hundreds of ideas expressed within an hour of one day but when you hear something good and something right, it rings like a bell. That’s exactly my experience when I read the quote above.  I recognize business excellence when I see it. It’s difficult to miss because most experiences are average or below average. The business, ministry, or person who delivers excellence does not need to be concerned about competition. There

“Amateurs focus on outcomes. Professionals focus on process.” – Dr. Eric Potterat  We all have goals. We may or may not write them down but we think about them. Let’s be real. Most of our goals are really more like wishes. We wish we were healthier. We wish we had more money. Or we wish we loved what we do. We wish our relationships were stronger. We wish we earned this degree or received that promotion. They are wishes because we don’t do anything about them. How do you transform a wish into a goal and a goal into an accomplishment? The answer is not glamorous. Nor is it flashy. It’s about reflection, honesty, and integrity. It’s about planning. It is about discipline. It’s about resiliency. It’s about mental toughness.  TEN REASONS WHY WE QUIT We quit because we never considered what accomplishing the goal might require We quit because we