“The rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage.” Dale Carnegie The timeless book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie was first published in 1936 and has sold over 30 million copies. That’s not surprising—the principles in How to Win Friends and Influence People are as relevant today as they were nearly a century ago. At its core, it’s about the power of kindness, sincere interest in others, and unselfish service—qualities that never go out of style. My wife enjoys people. She has a great laugh. In fact, whenever I hear her laugh, it stops me in my tracks. I’m at least curious to learn what it is that’s making her laugh. Most often, it doesn’t matter. When she laughs, it makes me laugh. It’s contagious. Serving Unselfishly My wife serves others with the same intensity. She also does not hold back.

Learning is a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. Learning transforms you by constantly providing new perspectives and insights. The best way to deal with disappointment is to gain value out of it. You do that by squeezing and learning from it. If you’ve lost something or someone, if you’ve failed, if you’ve encountered something unpleasant, what did you learn? Seriously. This is not fluff. It’s a legitimate question. We have observed and documented that failure and disappointment play a significant and positive role in the lives of overcomers and achievers. When you choose to learn from the not-so-pleasant events, you build muscle instead of flab. Flab comes from doing nothing with failures and mistakes. The Role of Learning in Growth This is true for organizations as well. A healthy organization is not perfect, but it is a learning organization. What is a Learning Organization?  In

Do your planning and prepare your fields before building your house. Proverbs 24:27 There is wisdom, respect, and results to be gained by understanding and applying this ancient proverb. It’s a first things first principle and the power of delayed gratification. It’s a principle of stewardship, honor, and wise leadership. Do your planning… First, use your God-given ability to think and plan. Create your work in your mind first. Imagination and planning is the first creation. Think it through carefully. Take it to a higher level by including others. Your plans will get even better and wiser if you do. Prepare your fields… Second, lay the groundwork. Use whatever resources you have, investing them heavily into the work. Resource work. Feed the work. Put the initial profits back into the work. The work is the priority. Furthermore, the work is what produces the fruit. The work gives back to you

We cannot change what we are not willing to acknowledge Even the most organized and strategic among us fall into seasons of chaos where we seem unable to focus, anxiety is high, task lists seem endless, and our schedule is like a runaway freight train. Fortunately, I’ve put some hard work into building two playbooks. My personal and professional playbooks have the power to help me regain focus, lower my anxiety, eliminate the majority of pesky tasks, and reorganize my calendar into a purposeful and positive direction. Otherwise, I would be another victim showing up to work, meetings, and gatherings unprepared, unsettled, and not fully present. Like many, I would become a trainwreck, overpromising, and under-delivering. So I started building playbooks. In my late twenties, while I was on a quest to get the right things done, I started building personal and professional playbooks. Prior, I got a lot of

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2 Living with Conviction I just finished a sizable landscape project at my home. Although I have moved my share of earth in years past, I didn’t do any of the labor this time around. There were two parts of our property that had to be changed, but I ignored them for five years. They bothered me. Both were large sections on either side of the house—grass and cedar trees. The nasty kind of cedar trees. In addition, they are water suckers, kill the grass, and spread serious pollen in the direction of my very allergenic bride. I was tired of spending resources fertilizing, watering, replacing sod, mowing, etc. Certainly a waste of money

“Authenticity doesn’t automatically guarantee success… but inauthenticity guarantees failure.” Jamie Kern Lima, Founder IT Cosmetics Last week, I shared a podcast from my heart regarding authentic leadership. If I have learned anything in this life and through my work with leaders across the country, authenticity is cultivated by a right relationship with God, self, others, and one’s context. Philosophers have said that the more we learn about God, the more we learn about ourselves, and the more we learn about ourselves, the more we learn about God. And so as our relationship with God and self takes shape, we become more authentically interested in others. We appreciate and enjoy others. We are also more equipped to care for and lead others. At the center of authentic leadership is a relationship. However, it appears too dangerous for some because authentic relationships have a transparent quality. And to be transparent requires a

Leadership is Diligence Delegation frees up leaders to do what needs to be done in their organizations. It’s a vital skill set that grows and sustains leadership. There are some things you just cannot delegate. You can’t delegate your opinion and the development of a team member within your reach. You also cannot delegate vision. Culture cannot be delegated as well. And you most definitely cannot delegate values. Values are the boundaries of decision-making. They are the guardrails toward your vision. So I’ll say it again, you cannot delegate values. You cannot delegate the ultimate responsibility of the actions and performance of the organization. Although you can share all of these, you cannot delegate them. I have delegated some of these responsibilities in my past and have suffered for it. When you truly care about something, decision-making is difficult. When you don’t really care, you make decisions of convenience. That’s

Making the Most Important Thing Necessary and Making God Necessary I’ve heard it said that God never calls us to anything that makes Him unnecessary. Many of us work hard to make things predictable. We like to be in control and we assess risk. We have professionals and departments that make it their business to reduce liability and exposure to the things that can hurt us. Reducing risk sounds wise, so what does it mean for us to be called to something that requires God? I think it’s more than a big vision to change the world, it’s more than setting a BHAG. It’s more of a mindset, it’s a belief system. From a Christian worldview, God is the one holding all things in place. Our heartbeat, our breath, and the talent and energy we have to be productive. He is also the source of all goodness and wisdom. Therefore,

I don’t know of a more important topic under the umbrella of leadership than team alignment. When your team understands and pursues the same goal while adhering to the same rules of engagement, you have alignment. When you’re aligned, your odds of success dramatically increase. I bought a 1965 Mustang in 1979. It was a fixer for sure. Among many other problems, the front end was out of alignment. As a result, it wore the tires, got horrible gas mileage, and shook like crazy at certain speeds. Bottom-line, the car could not go very fast and was dangerous. That’s what happens when your front end is out of alignment and that’s what happens when your team is out of alignment. When your car or your team is in alignment, you can go faster, get better mileage, reduce wear and tear, and get where you want to go in one piece!

It might sound crazy but I write out one specific mission every year. Like you, I have multiple personal goals swarming around in my heart, so it’s not easy. And yes, I do accomplish many good things every year. However, with lots of goal setting, thought, and prayer, I’m usually able to identify the one thing I must accomplish. The one feat that would make it a successful year. Here’s the bonus. On the way to accomplishing your chief aim, you most likely will achieve much more. That’s how it works. My 2023 Personal Goals Here are my mission and personal goals for 2023 while doing many other good and worthy things: I will publish my next book in 2023 by FOCUSING ON THREE TARGETS: TARGET ONE: Write every day until draft complete (June 30) TARGET TWO: Negotiate and sign publishing agreement (June 01) TARGET THREE: Rally support for early

You want to be a person of character and you want a life well-lived. You can have both if you practice commitment. Therefore, it’s crucial to understand the importance of saying “yes” with conviction and the impact it can have on your life.   The Importance of Saying “Yes” with Conviction Commitment is a clear understanding of YES. To truly say YES to something or someone, you are saying “no” to many others. However, YES means YES. It is not a “hope so” or a “maybe” or “until it becomes difficult”. A YES is a decision to give your whole self. In other words, when you say YES you build inner strength and definition to your life. Additionally, when you say YES you become a person of commitment. As a result, commitment creates direction and freedom in your life. But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ be ’No.’

…some will depart from the faith… through the hypocrisy of liars whose consciences are seared. 1 Timothy 4.1-2 Life & Leadership Lesson: Honesty and accuracy are twins. Together, they build trust and the opportunity to evaluate, adjust, and grow. Unfortunately, we experience the opposite much of the time. A person shades the truth for a variety of reasons. Furthermore, they do it again and again. On the foundation of insecurity, a person markets falsehood as truth in order to improve their position in a given situation.  Insecurity Leads to Dishonesty Sooner or later, the truth finds its way to the surface. In the light of day, there are no more shadows or shades to interpret. The truth has been revealed and the liar exposed. Sooner or later. Learning Honesty: Using Conscience as a Tool God has given all people a conscience. It is a tool for self-evaluation and decision-making. When

Marriage and Leadership Life & Leadership Lesson: If you’re married or plan to marry, this relationship is central to your life. Next to your walk with God, it is the most important relationship. More than your kids, parents, siblings, or friends. Your marriage is your first priority. To be first, it must be central. A central priority penetrates and influences all other relationships and concerns of life. If you build a strong marriage, it will overflow into the rest of your life. Make no mistake. I love my kids. I’m an engaging grandfather. I’m interested in and desire to be more involved in the lives of my extended family. My parents are my heroes. My friends are important to me. And my clients play a significant role in the fulfillment of my life’s purpose. With all that said, my energy and focus come from a healthy and supportive marriage. Health

Whenever I hear the term “hands-on leadership”, I think of DIY (do it yourself). DIY projects turn out poorly for most of us. Certain things don’t look that difficult. How hard can it be? The question is really a statement of ignorance, isn’t it?  So, we jump in, and the rest is history. Even if it turns out pretty good, it took you longer and cost more than you thought. There are two motivating factors for the DIY project. Either you really like working with your hands, or you are disgusted by the price of hiring a professional. A professional is simply someone who does “it” every day. When you concentrate on one thing, you typically become a professional. Hands-on Leadership is an Oxymoron Leadership is the same way. You have to study it and practice it in order to understand and engage like a professional. Hands-on leadership is an

2022: COVID, Mom’s Fall, and Poor Leadership. I contracted COVID AGAIN while in Florida on business. I don’t know what your experience has been but I have known folks in my circles who died from it in one way or another. The first time I got it, I swore I would never get it again. I was determined to set my mind against this virus just to get nailed. The second time was not nearly as terrible as the first but still no fun. My Mom, 79 at the time and a very active person experienced a fall in the garage and fractured her hip. She was operated on that same day. It was a disaster. After weeks of ridiculous pain, she endured another surgery – hip replacement. That was successful and she has begun the road to recovery. I still cannot get the image out of my mind –