How to Win: Capturing a Resilient Perspective

I am happy to say last year was a good year for me, and I hope the same for you. It was not a perfect year—because life just doesn’t work that way—but I did accomplish my one goal. My one BIG goal. It was not easy. In fact, it was much more difficult than I imagined. But isn’t that true with most worthy goals?

Capturing a Resilient Perspective: Three Focus Circles

Like you, I am not a perfect human being, but I have learned to practice a resilient perspective. That kind of perspective embraces thoughtfulness, self-awareness, self-leadership, gratefulness, and focus. What I’m about to share works for me, and it has proven helpful to many of my clients.

Resilient Perspective

Imagine a dart board—a target. There are three overlapping rings or circles. The one in the middle, we often call the bull’s eye. Picture that center circle on your target, but larger than a typical dartboard—about one-third the size of the whole target. Let’s call that center YOUR PERSON. We’ll come back to this in a minute.

Next, draw a slightly bigger circle around the center. Let’s call this one YOUR PEOPLE. We’ll revisit this as well.

Finally, add one more ring around the second. This last circle is YOUR PLACE.

YOUR PERSON

If you want a better life, you’ve got to work on yourself. You are the most difficult person to lead, and the work never ends. However, when you invest in your own growth, you get better in every way. I’ve found the following questions to be most helpful in this pursuit:

What is my life’s vision?

Mine is to help good people win—to inspire faith, shape character, and build leadership. How did I come to this conclusion? By paying attention to how God made me and the opportunities He’s placed in front of me. Also, by noticing what makes me cry (both sad and happy tears), and by looking at the results I’ve been part of.

If I win at nothing else over the next month (or quarter or year), what one thing will I accomplish?

Like the previous question, this one requires deep thought. The power of the answer brings great focus and commitment. But there’s more. When you identify one major achievement and pursue it with all your faculties, you’ll notice other good things get done along the way. Most goal-setting fails because we don’t know how to answer this question. So, we either create too many goals, causing confusion and dilution of effort, or we avoid setting goals altogether because we don’t like the feeling of failure.

What kind of person must I become to accomplish this goal and life vision?

Perhaps the greatest benefit of chasing meaningful goals is who you become in the process. The growth, the change, and the learning—these are priceless. Simply put, if you want a better marriage, work on yourself. You might be surprised by what that does. If you want better results at work, make growing as a person your top priority. It’s contagious. When you become a better person and leader, everyone around you benefits.

YOUR PEOPLE

We all have dozens—maybe hundreds—of people in our lives. That can feel overwhelming at times. The demands and expectations often exceed our capacity. Unfortunately, we make things harder by not approaching this part of life with purpose and strategy. Here are a few things to consider:

Choose your people.

That might sound discriminating—and it is, in the best way. You must recognize your limited capacity for deep, meaningful relationships. You can’t be everywhere or everything to everyone. Nor should you try. So, consider this approach:

Choose people who will help you.

Yes, you read that right. You cannot help others effectively if no one is pouring into you. Choose mentors. Surround yourself with people who support your mission. Hire individuals with both the desire and capacity to help. Don’t hire to help them—hire to help the mission. When the right people are in your circle, everyone wins.

Choose your family.

If you can wisely and lovingly manage your emotions and influence within your family, you can do it anywhere. Loving your family isn’t always easy, but it’s always right. It’s about more than just affection; it’s about creating a safe haven in a world that can be harsh. A resilient perspective sees family as a vital part of emotional and relational health.

Choose someone you can help.

I use the FAT rule. It’s my way of focusing on people who are Faithful, Available, and Teachable. Growth doesn’t happen when someone just wants a handout—I can’t help in that case. Instead, I look for those who’ve been faithful with what they have, even if they lack resources or connections. They’re hungry. They’re open. And they’re ready to grow. I’ve always been ambitious, even when I had little. That’s who I want to invest in.

YOUR PLACE

Your place is your current context. It could be your job, a life season, your relationships, or even a challenge you’re trying to overcome. It’s where you and your people live out your story. If you’re growing as a person and becoming more intentional about your relationships, you’ll have greater power to thrive in your place.

Embrace your place

If you’re in a tough spot, face it.

No whining. Quitting isn’t an option. And playing the victim? That’s off the table. Evaluate everything—what’s good, what’s bad, what’s uncertain. As you do, start envisioning what could be. Then begin taking steps toward it. That’s leadership. Don’t run away in search of comfort. That shortcut usually leads to disappointment. And if you’re in a good place? Improve it. Don’t get lazy or complacent.

Your place is temporary.

While you should embrace it fully, remember—your identity is not tied to your current circumstance. Nothing lasts forever on this side of eternity. Focus on what you can control and let go of what you can’t. Celebrate successes. Learn from failures. And when the time comes, move into the next season with strength.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Much of resilience comes from having a workable and grounded perspective. When you view life through the lens of these three circles—your person, your people, and your place—you strengthen your mental health, relationships, and effectiveness. A resilient perspective equips you for whatever comes next.

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Ready to capture a more resilient perspective and elevate your journey of growth in 2024? Explore more empowering content on our website – from insightful blogs to engaging podcasts. Uncover strategies, gain inspiration, and embrace the tools for a better you. Click the suggestions below to start your transformative adventure now!

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