Dealing with Disappointment

We all experience disappointment. It’s personal. It’s emotional. It drains you of energy and discourages your optimism. In fact, it’s a force that can erode your dreams, and even your values.

Maybe it’s a goal not achieved or a hope not realized.

Maybe it was a promise unfulfilled, an agreement broken, or the typical over-promise and under-deliver pledge lived out before your eyes.

Disappointment can cause you to pull back from relationships and give less than your best. The truth is clear: Most disappointments are tangled up in relationships. The familiar feeling can be summarized in the phrase, “He let me down.”

Leaders experience disappointment too. Sitting in the leader’s chair is a very difficult reality to describe. It’s a constant, never-ending, existence of demands. Your team looks to you for direction, answers, justice, and understanding. And you cannot accomplish the vision without them. You’re all in it together.

Dealing with Disappointment as Leaders

When recruiting for spots on your team, consider some of the lessons I have learned. They will help you make better decisions. As a result, you will be able to reduce the depth and regularity of disappointment.

Truths I Have Learned 

  1. People who commit too fast and early rarely follow through.
  2. Beware, to accept their rapid commitment compounds the problem.
  3. Slow down the hiring process allowing all relevant truth to rise to the surface.
  4. When you are hiring to solve today’s challenges, hire people for who they are now, not who they might become tomorrow.
  5. Realize no one is coming to your rescue. There is no knight in shining armor. You’re the leader for a reason. New hires help but only you know the weight of ownership. You cannot delegate ultimate responsibility.
  6. Stop assuming. Trust but verify. Don’t be caught saying, “I assumed”.
  7. No matter how hard you try, you will hire people who disappoint you and you will be a disappointment to some. Just knowing this reduces the emotional impact.
  8. Communicate, communicate, communicate.
  9. Work diligently to align your expectations of others to reality. Be interested in their hopes and dreams, not just your own.

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